Defeated

so frustrated with last night's UEFA final results.
seriously? 2-0?
i'm no fanatic football fan, but amongst all, my fav team is defo Man United.
hishhhh sakit hati tgk smlm.

ok. so i went over to Eric's apartment as we all planned to watch the match together. obviously, all of us are MU fans.
omg.. after bout 10 mins, Barca scored one goal. omgggggggggggggg...
i felt the bengang-ness rushing through my brain.. grrrrrr...

haihhh.. masa aku nak tgk korg main laa korg kalah. ble aku tak tgk korg menang. buat hal tul.

anyway, after the first goal, i had no will to watch so i started cooking for the whole lot of us at the apartment with Izzah.

haihh tu je laa keje aku dtg umah diorg ni. masak je.

so yehh.. Barca scored the 2nd goal. apa lagi. satu rumah berasap.. sakit hati.
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enough bout football. i've no right to say much since i don't watch all of the MU matches and only update myself with the results.

so i've finished watching 90210. i tell you, it's one hell of a fucked up tv series. seriously, the finale. not impressed. and i've never watched a tv series where i hate most of the main casts. I LOATHE ETHAN, ANNIE AND NAOMI. but i'm in love with Ty Collins, who's not even one of the main casts. pfft.
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2 more exams left.
23 more days to go home.
After exam parties.
Shopping at Cheshire Oaks.
Trip to Blackpool.
Wanna go LONDON!!!!! but i'm broke. so forget it.
shopping is strictly for the belated bday presents for my family, and a bit for myself. hehehe.

i hate being broke. but who's to blame other than me?

*LOVES*

TV Series? A bit too much?

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
ONE TREE HILL
GREY'S ANATOMY
GOSSIP GIRL

these four tv series are my favourites and the latest season has just ended for each of them last week. damnnnnnnnn...

i liked all the season finales except for Grey's Anatomy. i teared up a bit whilst watching One Tree Hill coz everyone got their happy endings and they were living their dreams. Desperate Housewives was good too.. though... i still haven't got a clue who Mike Delfino ended marrying. Gossip Girl.. so touching. B & C got their happy ending but more surprises to come for B & S next season.. nice! Grey's Anatomy was just shit coz two of the main characters died. how sick is that? i was close to tears watching that.

so.. basically, all tv series will start their next season in Sept/Oct. cant wait, but i wish One Tree Hill should just stop their production. i love One Tree Hill as ever, have to say it's the best tv series amongst all that i watch, but the fact that there won't be Lucas and Peyton next season, now.. that sux as hell coz both of them are the lives of that show. it won't be the same without them. it'll be like, after Marissa died in OC. i lost interest in watching the OC after she died. it was shit.

so yehhhh... since i have no tv series to look forward to for the next few months, i've just started watching 90210. it's not bad.. though i think it's just the same as Gossip Girl and the OC. high school dramas are soooooooo yesterday. plus these tv series revolve around rich kids.. why can't they make it more believable like One Tree Hill? see.. One Tree Hill is perfect for everyone to watch. it teaches about life in general, how to deal with REAL crisis in life.

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ok ok.. enough bout tv series. back to real life.
i took a break from revising on Friday and Saturday. so just chill with my group of friends... just to shake that exam stress away.
just started revising again today. stress? not yet. but i will be.

*LOVES*

1 down, 3 more to go

yay! done with my first paper. and i was quite happy with it.
i should be able to pass for that, but to get high marks? that can only be determined by the prescription exam i did last week. hmmmmmmmm... the bottom line is to pass, since first year exams are not counted.

so... kita rilek aje ok?

you have no idea how much i have prepared for this exam. been reading the same notes everyday for like 2-3 times. and been doing it since Sunday. so yeahh.. i'm mentally tired from memorising all the shits.

next exams:
26th May: Pharmaceutical Calculations (1 hour)
1st June : Physical Pharmacy (2 hours)
9th June : Cell Biology, Microbiology and Biochemistry (2 1/2 hours)

fyi.. pharmaceutical calculations is just the "glamour" name. should be called basic calculations, coz we have to do basic maths, but without calculator. wtf right?

am so counting the days to go back. but i know i'll definitely miss UK. and the fact that i'll be so jobless at home.

ye laa.. kat sini, nak kuar sume suka hati. balik flat suka hati smpai kol brape nak beronggeng pon... haaa... kat malaysia... duk umah baik2 ye. nak kuar, ma atau ratih atau kawan2 kena amik..

ok rant over....

*LOVES*

Either Way

was talking to a dear friend of mine on the phone (you know who you are).

she said dat :
when a girl is in a relationship with the guy,
if everything goes well with him,
then his family might have a problem with her.

OR

when a girl is in a relationship with the guy,
if everything goes well with his family ,
then she might have a problem with him.

it's funny how my friend put it that way, but speaking from my personal experience, IT'S TRUE! it's sad to know that u have a perfect relationship with ur bf, BUT the family doesn't agree on the relationship. and whats worse is they try to keep u apart from ur bf.

but on the other hand, if ur perfectly fine with his family, he might be cheating on u.. ok ok.. maybe not cheating.. but some other stuff.. like he does things that u don't like him to do.. etc. etc.

but then again.. i'm generalising. there are couples out there who are having a perfect relationship and also good relationship with both sides of families.


*LOVES*

Ko rilek aje!

ok this post has nothing to do with the title.
the title is just my most overused phrase.. thanks to Eric and Fazlee. haiihh..

anyway, i'm feeling the love from Ratih and Mama! just got the pics of the things they bought for me from US. hihi. =) thanks!!! the dress has my name written on it thats why u bought it for me kan, tey? and the watch is so me. and i've been wanting that gladiator sandals since.... they become the trend here. heehee. love u!!

owhhh.. i still owe Dian, Ratih, and Mama a bday present each.

Jen and Tey, can only get anything u want at 40 pounds each. send ur wishlist or i'll get whatever crap i wanna get for u. lol. AND NO TEY, i'm not getting the Tods bag for u. u need to send ur money to me so dat i can get it for u. hahha.

think i'm goin to Cheshire Oaks after exam for a little shopping spree.

*LOVES*

On Thursday, i went over to Fazlee's apartment coz they wanted me to cook. i had to go, as i didn't bring back my rice cooker after the house warming last week. they wanted spaghetti bolognese. so.. ok. i went there, brought some of the ingredients. it was a miracle though that Eric wanted to help. in the end, i didn't have to lift a finger. he did EVERYTHING, but under my supervision. the funny thing was when i was sitting and chilling with my other friends, anthony and him decided to add COCA COLA to the bolognese sauce. and the taste? totally great!!

Yesterday,i called mama and talked to her for almost an hour. hehhe. mama and i had so much to talk about after she came back from US. i love her to bits.

At night, i went to watch Angel's and Demons with my friends. totally awesome. i like the twist in the story. highly recommended. =) then.. i went back to Francesca's place with Arif and Azri (they came from Liverpool) and talked til bout 4 am. and i just came back from her place now.

now i'm getting ready to go to Lancaster to meet Iqa after 4 months not seeing her. i shall be back tomorrow noon.

don't ask me bout how well am i studying. i am studying. but not as much.

*LOVES*

Really mannn...

YOU ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE!
YOU NEED TO STOP AND TAKE A CHILL PILL.

The Sister Graduated

Mama, Dian and Ratih

just went on Facebook and saw pics of my sis, Dian on her graduation.

CONGRATS JENNY JEN!!! woop woop!!!
if u were here in Manchester, i would throw u a huge party.. hahha... only that the party would be my style which i'm sure u wouldn't agree. lol. haha... juz kidding. aku bleh blanje ko kat curry mile tu. JAZERA! aku tau ko rindu Jazera. hehehe. fyi, aku gi situ every week melantak. =P

btw, Dian just graduated from Duke University, US. she did her Masters there. my mom and my eldest sis, Ratih were in US for 10 days and i think now they're on the way back to Malaysia. (i hope they did some shopping for ME yg tersesat sorg2 kat UK niiiiii).

uhuuuuu... rindu my family....takpe. 1 more month! yay! i'll be annoying everyone in the house.

*LOVES*

.........

had an exam today. owh yehh..
i actually forgot to mention bout this exam coz it's not on my exam timetable.
it's a practical exam.
no.
not experiment.
prescription exam.
so they want us to know a bit about how to interpret the prescriptions given to us by doctors, dentists etc.
so yeh... it's hard to explain.
in Malaysia, i know pharmacists do not have to go so many procedures before dispensing medicines to patients. but here, there are tons of procedures.
omg. never know being a pharmacist can be so difficult.
technically, patients' lives are in pharmacist's hands.
one small error in dispensing can cause fatality. like seriously.
so this prescription exam is mainly about detecting errors in prescriptions, recording and labelling the medicines.
and there's negative marking. not -0.5 or -1 mark.
but -2, -5, -10 or -20marks , depending on what type of error you do.

like in the mock exam, i wrote in the prescription book for NHS prescription.. which i wasn't suppose to do, and guess wat.. i got -20 for that. it's a lot of shit.
owh.. i failed the mock exam. and so did half of my year. so bout 100 ppl failed. that shows how shit the exam was.

today was ok though. atleast i'm pretty sure i didn't lose 10 or 20 marks for one little mistake. had to learn my mistakes the hard way though. was a tight slap on the face when i saw the mark for my mock exam. thats a punishment for not revising throughout the semester. lol.

i am revising everyday nowadays. and i know how to control my internet addiction. sometimes when life is under pressure, u just know how to control ur addictions. and i go out less.. but only coz money is running out. argggghhh.. i eat out a bit too much and yet.. I CAN NEVER GAIN WEIGHT! why?????!!!

*LOVES*

Eric and Fazlee's House Warming

Eric and Fazlee just moved into a new apartment called the Lock Building.
the apartment is amazing. beautiful and spacious. enough said.

so they decided to have a little party for the close friends. there were Me, Francesca, Nadia, Foong Tsin, Izzah, Tony, Zaim, Brandon, Alvin, James, and the hosts.
in the afternoon, 6 of us went to ASDA and bought all the stuff we needed. FYI, we girls volunteered to cook. so yeh... the big trolley was full as soon as we got all the things we needed.. and the total cost was.... jengjengjeng. 117 pounds.
mengangkang nak bayar.

by about 7pm, Francesca and I went to their place and started cooking. we cooked Spaghetti Bolognese. then, Izzah came and cooked Tom Yam. Foong Tsin arrived a bit later and cooked Lamb Curry. it was fun. especially the way we had to cook a few times coz there werent any big pots and pans to cook. god. and how we all had squeeze into the tiny little kitchen. everything was done by about 10.30.

that was my first time cooking for friggin 12 ppl. luckily Francesca helped a lot. i think we all did a great job and the boys praised our cooking. whether they were sincere or not, only God knows. but whatever it is, i had an amazing time.

later on, i had a bonding session with the girls. very2 scandalous. all the gossips and life stories came out. and Nadia said, "this conversation is very informative. i like." lol.

went home at about 2.30 by cab. and so u know, i'm up for anymore house parties at their apartment. lol.

*LOVES*

Swine Flu anyone?

dammit. i'm having runny nose for the past 3 days.

swine flu?

i dont know, really. but i know i got it from Liverpool. the weather here is hot and cold. it's been raining for the past few days, but today is sunny and very windy. wtf. english weather.

and people who know me very well know how often i get cold. every 2-3 months. yeh the last time was late February. haihhh.. and i swear the last time i got it lasted for a month. imagine the pain i had to go through.

ok ppl. u know we always use the term flu for runny nose.
actually it's wrong. flu is like ur whole body feels weak and u cant get out from bed.
what i'm having is called cold. so yeh... i just knew how differentiate both terms when my flatmate and host mom told me. lol.

anyway, cold doesn't stop me from doing my daily routine. like i said, i'm pretty much used to it. just that i feel irritated that i have to bring tons of tissues and i sneeze a lot. but the i like the feel after sneezing. it's a huge relief. heheh.

went to the library yesterday. we booked a study room. it was a disaster. there were 7 of us - Tony, Nadia, Izzah, Fazlee, Eric, Brandon and I. omg. seriously. we were laughing all the time. it was really funny. jokes were friggin random and we kept on taking the piss out of each other. Fazlee and Eric were our entertainers. once they started, we continued for a few mins. as usual. but no worries. we did revise, just not as much and as effective. it was good to cut the stress out.

gonna miss these ppl when i'm back in Malaysia. =(

*LOVES*

Coz Distance Don't Matter

Today is my best friend's birthday!

Dearest Nur Shahira Anuar,

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!

6 years of being besties, and still counting.

i know we haven't been able to keep in touch as often but i want u to know that ur always in my heart and i love u just the same ok.

hope you have a wonderful 19th birthday. sorry i haven't been there on ur birthday since form 4 but the thought that counts, innit? miss u loads and love u to bits and pieces!

*LOVES*

Nothing Much

i have nothing much to write.
juz updating u people with whats goin on.
well believe it or not, i've been revising for the exams.
yes i have.
did i tell u that i have four friggin papers?
my first one is on 22nd may.
and my last is on the 9th june.

so i have about..... 11 free days till i go back to Malaysian on the 20th June!

i'm really really excited to go back.

i miss my SJ friends - Shera, Maliq, Jaja, Batch, Aliah, Nina, Syam, Azzy.. miss u guys loads!

and not forgetting my family and cat. wheeeeeeehhhhhheeeeee! i'll be staying in the house a lot, i suppose. and ask mama to go out with me everyday. oohh.. breakfast at Syed. thats what i used to do with mama. Ratey can bring me to OU or watsoever during weekend. kan Tey? hhehe. i'll play ps3 with Qahl and watch movie or dvd or juz turn into couch potatoes! Dian will be coming back from US. yippee! and papa can bring us for a shopping spree and go makan sedap2.

hell yeah. i'm excited to go back. but at the same time, i'll be damn bored coz i need to depend on mama, Tey or my friends for transportation. believe it or not, i havent got my driving license. shut up. dont say anything. well i've been staying in the UK since i finished my SPM and i only come back for summer hols. and i wanna relax during summer. and i dont like malaysian drivers. they're scary and seeing how Ratey get stressed up on the road, i don't think i wanna go through that. lol.

anyway, i'm thinking bout goin to Bali again with my friends this summer. hehhe. we'll see.

i haven't even gone through my exam and i'm talking bout summer hols. really.

*LOVES*

Let it be very slow and steady

i'm at a pretty much confused stage.

but i don't want to think too much about it.

tho, Aina thinks i should keep on asking myself why am i like this and whats so good about that person that i cared so much who doesnt care anymore about me.

Iqa thinks that i need more time. only time can erase. but how much longer?

i'm afraid of myself sometimes.

i don't even understand myself.

maybe it's true that human beings only want what they can't have.
and when they get what they want, they don't appreciate it as much.

i want my life to go back to the way it used to be when i was in secondary school.

no boy drama.
less conflicts.
no confusion.
no complications.
no heartaches.
everything was simple,
but close to perfect.

X-Men Origins:WOLVERINE

omg. i totally forgot to tell u about the latest movie that i watched at the cinema in Liverpool on Friday.

X MEN ORIGINS WOLVERINE IS A MUST SEE, PEOPLE!

for girls especially.

it was a man fest. like seriously.

all the men in the movie were drop dead gorgeous.

Francesca and I were watching and we hardly blink our eyes. no way. not in this movie.

what more can u ask for?
HUGH JACKMAN, DANIEL HANNEY, RYAN REYNOLDS AND LIEV SCHREIBER. omg. girls, u'll be glued to ur seats.

Denial

i just came back from a good weekend in Liverpool.
it was Arif's birthday so Francesca and I decided to celebrate with him n our other friends in Liverpool.
i splurged a lot of money on shopping + going out around town. omg. i'm so gonna stay at home now. only goin red chilli or whatsoever once a week. at most, 2-3 times a week. hahha.

i need to study!!!!

Oh God,
why do i have to go through such complicated stage right now?
why can't i just go back to the way things were?
like when i was in secondary school, life was so simple and i was so happy.
why is my heart conflicted this way?
why do i have to live in denial?
and last but not least, why can't i completely get pass this challenge?
why does it have to be so hard?
will i be this way for the rest of my life?
i don't want to. i'm trying too hard. but i'm tired of trying. i just want this challenge that You're making me go through to just... go away.

*Loves*