Denial

i just came back from a good weekend in Liverpool.
it was Arif's birthday so Francesca and I decided to celebrate with him n our other friends in Liverpool.
i splurged a lot of money on shopping + going out around town. omg. i'm so gonna stay at home now. only goin red chilli or whatsoever once a week. at most, 2-3 times a week. hahha.

i need to study!!!!

Oh God,
why do i have to go through such complicated stage right now?
why can't i just go back to the way things were?
like when i was in secondary school, life was so simple and i was so happy.
why is my heart conflicted this way?
why do i have to live in denial?
and last but not least, why can't i completely get pass this challenge?
why does it have to be so hard?
will i be this way for the rest of my life?
i don't want to. i'm trying too hard. but i'm tired of trying. i just want this challenge that You're making me go through to just... go away.

*Loves*