Today is my best friend's birthday!
Dearest Nur Shahira Anuar,
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!
6 years of being besties, and still counting.
i know we haven't been able to keep in touch as often but i want u to know that ur always in my heart and i love u just the same ok.
hope you have a wonderful 19th birthday. sorry i haven't been there on ur birthday since form 4 but the thought that counts, innit? miss u loads and love u to bits and pieces!
*LOVES*
i have nothing much to write.
juz updating u people with whats goin on.
well believe it or not, i've been revising for the exams.
yes i have.
did i tell u that i have four friggin papers?
my first one is on 22nd may.
and my last is on the 9th june.
so i have about..... 11 free days till i go back to Malaysian on the 20th June!
i'm really really excited to go back.
i miss my SJ friends - Shera, Maliq, Jaja, Batch, Aliah, Nina, Syam, Azzy.. miss u guys loads!
and not forgetting my family and cat. wheeeeeeehhhhhheeeeee! i'll be staying in the house a lot, i suppose. and ask mama to go out with me everyday. oohh.. breakfast at Syed. thats what i used to do with mama. Ratey can bring me to OU or watsoever during weekend. kan Tey? hhehe. i'll play ps3 with Qahl and watch movie or dvd or juz turn into couch potatoes! Dian will be coming back from US. yippee! and papa can bring us for a shopping spree and go makan sedap2.
hell yeah. i'm excited to go back. but at the same time, i'll be damn bored coz i need to depend on mama, Tey or my friends for transportation. believe it or not, i havent got my driving license. shut up. dont say anything. well i've been staying in the UK since i finished my SPM and i only come back for summer hols. and i wanna relax during summer. and i dont like malaysian drivers. they're scary and seeing how Ratey get stressed up on the road, i don't think i wanna go through that. lol.
anyway, i'm thinking bout goin to Bali again with my friends this summer. hehhe. we'll see.
i haven't even gone through my exam and i'm talking bout summer hols. really.
*LOVES*
i'm at a pretty much confused stage.
but i don't want to think too much about it.
tho, Aina thinks i should keep on asking myself why am i like this and whats so good about that person that i cared so much who doesnt care anymore about me.
Iqa thinks that i need more time. only time can erase. but how much longer?
i'm afraid of myself sometimes.
i don't even understand myself.
maybe it's true that human beings only want what they can't have.
and when they get what they want, they don't appreciate it as much.
i want my life to go back to the way it used to be when i was in secondary school.
no boy drama.
less conflicts.
no confusion.
no complications.
no heartaches.
everything was simple,
but close to perfect.
i just came back from a good weekend in Liverpool.
it was Arif's birthday so Francesca and I decided to celebrate with him n our other friends in Liverpool.
i splurged a lot of money on shopping + going out around town. omg. i'm so gonna stay at home now. only goin red chilli or whatsoever once a week. at most, 2-3 times a week. hahha.
i need to study!!!!
Oh God,
why do i have to go through such complicated stage right now?
why can't i just go back to the way things were?
like when i was in secondary school, life was so simple and i was so happy.
why is my heart conflicted this way?
why do i have to live in denial?
and last but not least, why can't i completely get pass this challenge?
why does it have to be so hard?
will i be this way for the rest of my life?
i don't want to. i'm trying too hard. but i'm tired of trying. i just want this challenge that You're making me go through to just... go away.
*Loves*
oh my.
exam starts in less than a month.
i've started my revision but i have to say i'm chilling out a lot.
typical me.
for the past few days, i've been going to the library with my friends.
we always book the study room but starting this week, we decided not to coz we realised how much we actually wasted our time when we were in the study room.
wat do u expect? we can make as much noise as we want to coz the study rooms are meant for group study.
it was fun tho. when random thoughts came to our minds, we just blurted it out and the lot of us would laugh out loud.
bitching time in malay now. ok. flatmate aku ni bermasalah sket. korang tau kan aku slalu kuar ngan kwn2 sume. aku da lama rasa diorg tak brape suke aku slalu kuar ngan kwn2 aku tp ari tu aku kuar, satu flatmate aku ni msg aku tny ble aku blk. die kata die fed up duk flat sorang2. pastu ble aku blk die moody plak. stress tul. adoiiii.. tolong la. bleh je aku nak ckp ngan die, ko gi cari kwn2 ko bleh tak. masalahnye kan, diorg ni tak byk kwn uni. klau kuar mkn/clubbing ke ape, mesti kuar ktorg satu flat je. cam susah la kan. aku nak kuar pon kena pikir die ok ke tak, tapi aku mcm tak kisah da. bknnye salah aku die taknak kuar ngan kwn2 die.
ok ok. done bitching. i think that i actually have to stop going out for food with my friends and cook more at home. but wat to do, like last week, everytime we finished study, we went to eat. haih. =S
looking forward to this weekend. Francesca and I are going to Liverpool. da janji ngan our friends since Liverpool M Night. probably our last time to enjoy before exams.
*LOVES*
